My favourite Christmas program is Jesse Ventura’s Conspiracy Theory
It ain’t the holidays ‘til retired wrestlers confront security
Slouched in a worn IKEA couch, we take in the spectacle
Watching a walking hunk of rage probe trash receptacles
This Christmas
I know where my family resides
We’re getting drunk
And playing board games in your apartment
And we might be full of Old Dutch
But there’s room for Viet Thai
Because we’re drunk and playing board games in your apartment
It’s Christmas time – it’s time to say I love you
My favourite Christmas game is broken picture telephone
Sitting next to James and down is up and up is up too somehow
Sprawled in a ragged circle we’ll laugh until we choke
As we prove that Godwin’s Law applies to telephone
This Christmas
I know where my family resides
We’re getting drunk
And playing board games in your apartment
And we might be full of Old Dutch
But there’s room for Viet Thai
Because we’re drunk and playing board games in your apartment
It’s Christmas time – it’s time to say I love you
Decadents
Peanut M & Ms
Twizzlers
All Dressed
No Turkey
Fuck your Christmas Ham
We don’t need a roasting pan
This Christmas
I know where my family resides
We’re getting drunk
And playing board games in your apartment
And we might be full of Old Dutch
But there’s room for Viet Thai
Because we’re drunk and playing board games in your apartment
It’s Christmas time – it’s time to say I love you
credits
from Boxing Day,
released December 24, 2014
Matthew on drums, Mason on guitar, Craig on bass. Craig sings.
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